Rest Retreat and The Little Bird

The month of January 2018, I chose to participate in @mamawatters’ (of www.homesongblog.com) Rest Retreat. I HIGHLY recommend heading over to her blog STAT to devour her content. Like I am in love with it all. Especially this Retreat.

It. Was. Perfect.

For Four Weeks, I removed myself from Social Media and had lots of ‘aha’ moments. Week One was Restore Your Rhythms, Week Two: Establish Your Non-Negotiables, Week Three: Simplify Your Surroundings, and the Final Week Four was Trust Your Path.

Around Week Three, one of my biggest ‘ahas’ was the link my Anxiety has with Social Media.
THIS is the 'aha' I want to share with you today.

I realized that I was using Social Media to numb my anxiety.

Whenever I had a quiet moment and I would feel that little bird start to flap in my chest (my description of my anxiety haha), I previously had turned to my phone and would start a-scrollin. If  I am constantly engaged in something, then it's a whole lot easier to ignore my Anxiety. Without this little distraction, my anxiousness seemed too big of a problem to deal with. I felt crazy. Tried deep breathing. No relief. Meditating. No relief. Started to consider upping my dose of my anti-anxiety supplements....then....

...then it got better---
after I connected with that dang Anxiety instead of trying to squash it with Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and BUSY.

I found a rhythm with that little bird, you see. I learned these last few weeks to sit with it. To befriend it even. Without my anxiety, I wouldn't be me.
Sometimes it drives me to be better. Sometimes worse.
Sometimes it makes me more outgoing. Sometimes a hermit.
Sometimes it drives me to be a better mom. Sometimes it feels like my undoing when that bird starts flapping when I'm trying to get the kids out the dang door and to preschool on time and the dang toddler WILL NOT put on her dang shoes.
  Lots of times I wish I could completely remove my Anxiety from myself. It's a feeling I definitely do NOT like. But this last month so many pieces and realizations fell into place for me.

When we learn to sit with the parts of oursleves that we want to change, sometimes the way you think about those parts can change. Whether they be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. The way we think about our character 'flaws' feeds those 'flaws'. One of my favorite quotes that she shared during this Retreat was,

"Alas, your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds."

SO; my goal is this.
​To continue to try and plant LOTS of happy little flowers and love (I LOVE geraniums...this is what I'm picturing in my head...Secret Garden Style) around that Little Bird. Not try to cage it up anymore.

What kind of flowers will you plant this week?

Love and Light, Mal